


the real tragedy is the recorder playing

by nerdiests



Category: Linked Universe - Fandom, The Legend of Zelda & Related Fandoms
Genre: Badly Played Music, Crack, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Linked Universe (Legend of Zelda), Pure and utter crack, four's a cat and no one can stop me, hi yes hyrule can play recorder, stick houses
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-04
Updated: 2019-10-04
Packaged: 2020-11-23 09:07:02
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,092
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20889593
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nerdiests/pseuds/nerdiests
Summary: hyrule and warriors have a duet





	the real tragedy is the recorder playing

**Author's Note:**

> thank you to both silona and garry for enabling me, and also thanks for drawing hyrule playing shitty recorder garry it made my day
> 
> this is utter crack. don't take it seriously. i wrote all of this past midnight in about forty five minutes don't take it seriously.

Today was. It was certainly a day! That is what it was, a day. That Hyrule could confirm. That it was a day, and Things Were Happening. But what kind of day was it? Hyrule didn’t really know. They’d just been walking all day. And Hyrule didn’t like walking all day, it was boring. Being bored sucked. It was something Hyrule had dealt with a lot on his adventure, sadly. It wasn’t fun. He didn’t like it. But, but but but! They were probably going to be stopping and then he could sit down and fuck around. Like uh. Maybe read. Or whatever the fuck he’d do, Hyrule didn’t know yet. Either way, when Time looked around at their surroundings and up at the pinkening sky, there was a glimmer in Hyrule’s eyes. 

“It’s getting late,” Time said, looking back at the rest of their motley Link Party. Hyrule unabashedly pumped his fist in the air. 

“ _ Fuck yeah _ ,” Hyrule said. For a moment, no one said anything, did anything. No movements. None. Zilch. Then Wind nodded sagely.

“Fuck yeah.” At Wind’s words, the rest of the group burst into motion. 

“Wind you’re babey stop that! You’re babey!” Four said, and Wind stared at Four before flipping him off. 

“Fuck you, you midget.” At Four’s affronted look, Wind started cackling, and there was a poorly hidden grin on Wild’s face as well. The Look Of Disappointment (patent pending) was in full swing, while Twilight’s eyebrows rose ever higher. Hyrule started laughing himself, because hearing Wind say fuck was always entertaining. He didn’t know why, but. It was. 

“Whoa. No need to uh. Insult other people I guess I don’t fucking know man,” Sky cut in, putting his hands up in a placating manner. Wind flipped him off too, and Four straight up  _ hissed _ . Like a fucking cat. What the fuck. 

“Are you a cat now Four?” Legend asked, not even bothering to give his voice any tonal quality. Deadpan was nice to speak in sometimes! Hyrule had picked that up from Legend. 

“No fuck you, and fuck you Wind! I’m not a fucking midget you’re all just fucking tall as shit!!” Four screeched in reply, and that. 

“Are you sure about that?” Hyrule asked, giggling a bit. He thought it was funny. Four’s ire turned towards him.

“ _ Yes I fucking am _ ,” Four said angrily, before stalking off and sitting on a log facing away from the rest of the group. 

“Well that happened! Let’s forget that happened and uh. Settle in!” Warriors said a bit too forcefully, before moving over to another conveniently placed log in the clearing they’d conveniently stopped in and sitting down. The rest of the group started to scatter themselves around the rest of the clearing and do whatever the fuck they wanted to do, Hyrule didn’t pay a lot of attention. He was more focused on this pile of sticks he’d found - he wanted to make a house of sticks. Why? Well, why not? 

While Hyrule put all his attention into his stick house, the other Links did what they were wont to do - whether that might be making a seafood paella on Wild’s part, or whittling away on Sky’s. No one really paid much attention to Hyrule and his stick house, so Hyrule didn’t pay attention to anything around him. The only thing that snapped him out of his focus on the stick house was someone snapping their fingers in front of his face - Wild. 

“Hey, food. What’s with the stick house?” Wild asked, quirking an eyebrow as he passed Hyrule his bowl of paella. 

“I don’t wanna live in a cave anymore so I started building a house, but I realized it’s too small so now it’s for the tiny people,” Hyrule replied. Wild’s other eyebrow joined its brother in raising, and Four’s head snapped up from across the campsite.

“ _ Did you call me small? _ ” Four asked, voice sounding extremely dangerous. Hyrule, sweet sweet Hyrule, oblivious to Four’s tone, shook his head.

“No! It’s for the tiny people that live in the grass! Do you live in the grass, Four?” Hyrule asked, quirking his head to the side. 

“And what if I do?  _ Hm? _ ” Four asked somewhat acerbically. 

“I think we’d know if you lived in the grass, Four,” Warriors stepped in - not literally, just figuratively - and Four hissed again. Hyrule just smiled, before utterly devouring the paella Wild had handed him. 

People finished their food. Wild took up the bowls and started to clean them - no use in having dirty dishes. Hyrule continued to work on his stick house, and people watched as he did so. Except Warriors. Warriors was reading a book and Hyrule was fine with that. As Hyrule built his stick house, he started to hum something, and Warriors’s attention flitted from his book to Hyrule and back to his book and back to Hyrule and back and forth and back. It looked like what Twilight had called tennis. 

“That sounds familiar. I swear I’ve heard it before,” Warriors remarked, putting a bookmark in his book and setting it aside. Hyrule set another stick down, turning towards Warriors with a confused look in his eyes.

“How so?” Hyrule asked, quirking his head to the side.

“It just does! I don’t fucking know Hyrule!” Warriors replied, throwing his hands up into the air. No one batted an eye at this. 

“Well. I can play it on my recorder?” Hyrule offered, already reaching with one hand for his pack. Warriors shrugged. 

“Might as well I guess,” Warriors said, and Hyrule grinned as he pulled out his recorder. He brought his recorder up to his mouth, started to play, and watched as everyone’s - save Warriors - faces contorted into expressions of extreme displeasure. Warriors only furrowed his eyebrows further, before snapping his fingers.

“Oh fuck yeah I do know this song!” Warriors said, grinning. Hyrule smiled around the recorder as Warriors started to sing… And prevented himself from blinking and stopping because those weren’t things he should do while playing the recorder. 

No matter how anyone swung it, no one could understand what Hyrule was playing, and what Warriors was singing. It was utterly mystifying. And as they both finished the respective song parts, there was silence throughout the camp. Then, the one person that had reacted to so much already just stared between the two of them.

“What the fuck was that,” Four sighed, as Hyrule grinned and Warriors just sighed. 

“It was! Music!” Hyrule replied, and Four shrugged.

“If you say so I guess.”

**Author's Note:**

> fuck yea my [tumblr](http://nerdiests.tumblr.com)
> 
> the song they duet [here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=maK7AgGm0Xw), and specifically the recorder bit that hyrule plays [here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N5kuUsaVarg)


End file.
